Living with Chronic Illness: Ardra Shephard’s Journey with MS

Ardra Shephard, a writer and advocate for chronic illness awareness, shares her deeply personal experiences with living with multiple sclerosis (MS) in her memoir, *Fallosophy: My Trip through Life with MS*. In a candid account published on August 16, 2025, she reflects on the struggles of concealing her condition and the impact it has had on her life and aspirations.

Shephard begins her narrative by depicting a typical day at work, where she grapples with the symptoms of MS while navigating office dynamics. After receiving an unexpected promotion, her mixed feelings become evident. Despite her professional growth, she feels trapped in a corporate environment that doesn’t align with her dreams. “I want to see the world, to live in cosmopolitan cities surrounded by creative people and original thinkers,” she writes, revealing her desire to pursue a career in opera.

Weeks into her journey, Shephard’s health takes a turn for the worse. Initially dismissing her eye pain as a possible hangover, she eventually finds herself in the emergency room at McMaster Hospital in Hamilton. After a series of tests, she receives a diagnosis of optic neuritis, which comes with the unsettling possibility of multiple sclerosis. “You have optic neuritis, and there’s a 50 percent chance you have multiple sclerosis,” the doctor informs her, a moment that forever alters the trajectory of her life.

In the months that follow, Shephard navigates the emotional turmoil of living with a chronic illness. She details the stigma surrounding MS and the societal pressures that compel individuals to conceal their conditions. “More than one-third of people living with MS keep their diagnosis classified,” she notes, highlighting a common struggle faced by many. The fear of being marginalized or misunderstood often leads to a reluctance to disclose their health status.

Shephard’s narrative serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities surrounding chronic illness. She recounts moments of “passing” as someone without a disability, revealing the internal conflict of wanting to appear “normal” while battling the realities of her condition. Through humorous anecdotes and honest reflections, she illustrates the challenges of maintaining a façade in a world that often equates worth with productivity and perfection.

The societal expectations placed on those with chronic illnesses can be overwhelming. Shephard describes incidents where she felt pressured to conform to the image of a “good patient,” one who doesn’t complain or require too much assistance. This pressure is compounded by a lack of understanding and awareness about the realities of living with MS.

As her journey unfolds, Shephard emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and advocacy. “Being accepted for who I am starts with accepting myself,” she declares, recognizing that her experience can contribute to broader conversations about disability and inclusion. She advocates for a shift in societal attitudes towards chronic illness, urging others to understand the complexities and nuances that come with it.

In her memoir, Shephard not only shares her personal story but also calls for change. She challenges the stigma surrounding chronic illness and emphasizes the need for support, understanding, and acceptance. Her words resonate with many who face similar struggles, offering a sense of community and hope.

Ardra Shephard’s *Fallosophy* stands as a powerful testament to resilience in the face of adversity. Through her journey, she encourages readers to embrace their authenticity and advocate for change, reminding us all of the strength found in vulnerability.