Connecting with Strangers: How Micro-Relationships Boost Well-Being

VANCOUVER – Psychology Professor Gillian Sandstrom has highlighted the significance of “micro-relationships,” small but meaningful interactions that can enhance mental well-being. Her personal experience began as a lonely graduate student in Toronto, where a simple exchange with a hotdog vendor made her feel a sense of belonging. “It really meant something much bigger than it seemed like it should,” Sandstrom recalled, emphasizing how such interactions can fundamentally impact our lives.

Now an associate professor at the University of Sussex in England, Sandstrom’s work focuses on how brief social interactions with strangers foster feelings of community and connection. This perspective aligns with a growing movement among researchers and advocates who argue that these fleeting encounters are vital for mental health, especially as society grapples with increasing loneliness.

In response to these challenges, the Toronto-based organization GenWell has launched a national initiative called Talk to a Stranger Week, scheduled for November 24-30, 2023. Pete Bombaci, CEO of GenWell, aims to encourage Canadians to engage with strangers, asserting that these connections can lead to deeper, more sustainable relationships. “We want to help people build the connections that are likely to create the longer term, sustainable relationships that will actually make us all happier,” he stated.

Research conducted by GenWell, which surveyed approximately 2,500 individuals, demonstrated a clear correlation between happiness and social interactions. Those who regularly greeted strangers reported higher levels of happiness, particularly individuals who engaged daily.

Another advocate for connecting with strangers is Tony Esteves, who transformed his life after committing to speak with at least one new person every day. Esteves, who once struggled with depression, found that these conversations significantly improved his empathy and listening skills. He noted, “It pulled me out of depression, and I can actually say meeting strangers literally saved my life.” Esteves recounted experiences with individuals he met, including a musician and a romantic partner, both of whom became pivotal in his life story.

The call for social connectivity is echoed by Ian Culbert, executive director of the Canadian Public Health Association. He highlighted the longstanding focus on connectivity within public health, particularly in light of recent data from Statistics Canada. The survey indicated that over 13 percent of respondents reported feeling lonely “always or often,” with an additional 37 percent experiencing loneliness at times. Culbert emphasized the importance of community relationships, stating, “These small encounters can reduce feelings of loneliness and social isolation.”

Sandstrom’s research further supports the idea that interactions with strangers can enhance one’s well-being. A paper published in 2020 revealed that while people often enjoy conversations with strangers, fears of rejection can hinder these interactions. She referred to this phenomenon as the “liking gap,” where individuals perceive that others do not like them as much as they actually do. “People actually like us more than we think,” she explained.

The potential for social interactions to improve mental health is underscored by studies indicating that social connectedness may have a more significant impact on well-being than factors like income or education. Culbert noted, “We see social connectedness almost having a greater impact than even income,” highlighting the need to address the barriers that prevent people from engaging with one another.

Encouragingly, some individuals in Vancouver are already embracing the idea of reaching out to strangers. Mack Yong, a self-proclaimed extrovert, expressed his enjoyment in engaging with new people, noting, “It’s no fun to be lonely.” His experience illustrates the natural curiosity that many people possess when it comes to connecting with others.

Conversely, some, like Julia Jacobs, perceive a generational divide in attitudes towards engaging strangers, attributing it to the prevalence of technology. “My son finds it strange that I like to speak with strangers,” she remarked, suggesting that digital communication may be diminishing face-to-face interactions.

As the campaign for Talk to a Stranger Week approaches, advocates like Bombaci and Sandstrom are optimistic that encouraging small acts of connection can lead to broader societal changes. Sandstrom emphasized that fostering these connections not only benefits individuals but also cultivates a kinder, more connected community. “You’re going to help them feel connected,” she stated, encouraging people to take small steps toward engaging with those around them.

The findings and initiatives surrounding micro-relationships underscore the importance of human interaction in a world increasingly dominated by technology and social isolation. As individuals like Esteves exemplify, taking the initiative to reach out can transform lives, fostering a sense of belonging and community that benefits everyone.